A Better Version of Me

It’s easy to judge, crush, beat down and destroy. Your words can be left hooks or instruments of torture. Now, I’ve be known to tear strips off of people. To get inside their heads and remove their will to live like a surgeon with a butcher’s knife. The why is simple: They found my temper.

Anger is my weakness and I know it so I counterbalance with patience and observation. Of course much of what I see in the world fuels my rage even more but there are those little moments. Moments that give me peace and extinguish the fires of fury that too often burn inside me.  A week ago I was on the train in to town when a mother walked on holding her baby boy in her arms. The child kept staring at me with big smiles. Eventually the mother turned around to see what was catching her son’s attention so much. She looked up and smiled as her son held up his tiny hand and waved while trying to say hello. In that instant all the darkness was gone as I felt his joy and innocence take over every emotion I could possibly feel. It reminded me of why we put up with the hellish side of life and put a smile on my face that has just popped back up as I write this.

Nobody’s perfect and I’m no exception to the rule but I try every day to learn from my mistakes and move forward. I’m going to keep fighting for us with honesty and an open mind. Because I have seen the beauty beyond the nightmare and I know we can get there.


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