Both Sides Of The Hilt

Soul searching is for the lost. I’ve spent my time making sure I was never found while dodging train wrecks and jumping ships. For you it’s not a life I’m sure but for me it is. I’ve never been somebody’s number one priority and it is not in my nature to place one person above another. I just am and so are you. We have our talents, our weakness and our reasons to act. We can work together or you can take a hike before I do. Somewhere in that statement you will find my notion of freedom.

In tonight’s night light I am thinking about lessons learned through relationships. From that childhood crush to the ones I let get away. From my close friends to those who left me with the empty feeling of indifference. There is always a why to an emotion. Always a trigger to a feeling. Our actions and words are the brick and mortar that build or break our connections.

So what have I learned from those connections?

I had a trainer who taught me to always stand my ground. A teacher who taught me to be honest with one and all. A friend who taught me the meaning of brother and a girl who taught me to never fear my emotions.

Sometimes these lessons have been a burden. Sometimes I’ve been too strict in their application. Sometimes not strict enough but they are in me and a reminder of who others wanted me to be. I’m sure there is a twist in there somewhere.

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