“Knowing that there is a dark cloud looming over your life does not help in making it dissipate. Only time can ride out the storm.’
‘What do you think about nihilism?’
‘I don’t care much for it.’
‘Would you consider yourself to be a nihilist.’
‘No, I’m a disillusioned optimist.’
‘So you’ve lost hope?’
‘Oh, hope went out the window years back. I look at what is and do what I can to move forward.’
‘So you’re not completely disillusioned then.’
‘I could crack a smile in the pits of hell but that doesn’t mean I’m happy. You know, you can use all the energy you have left in you to make one step forward then something or someone pushes you back a couple of steps. You can completely give up but if you do you’ll be three steps back. Either way you have to accept that you’re not getting ahead.’
‘Your cynicism could make a clown cry!’
‘Hey, people would pay good money to see that. Every cloud has a silver bullet doesn’t it?’
‘Haha and in walks sarcasm.’
‘It goes with the territory.’
‘You seem to have kept your sense of humour regardless of whatever else may have changed.’
‘You either laugh it off or lay down and die. I was wired to survive so I keep going.’
‘Well that’s something in itself isn’t it?’
‘It is and I do find little pleasures in life to make sure that I don’t throw in the towel.’
‘What kind of pleasures?’
‘I like to smoke a cigarette under a pensive moon. Cradle a good whisky while listening to some evening tunes or find the highest point in nature where I can then sit and take in the wilderness.’
‘Sounds like you enjoy solitude.’
‘I do.’
‘Has that always been your nature?’
‘It has but I suppose my life and the encounters I’ve had along the way have amplified that side of me.’
‘People make you want to be alone?’
‘A lot of them do yeah. There’s a side to human nature that is egocentric and parasitical. Some people are more inclined that way than others and the ones who are more inclined that way will suck the life right out of you. You’re better off without them or to put it another way: If you can’t find the good ones then you’re better off alone.’
‘How would you define: the good ones?’
‘Those who complete you or bring something to the table. Those who put a smile on your face by simply existing or inspire you or bring out the best in your personality.’
‘And you have people like that in your life?’
‘Yeah, no man’s an island and I’ve been lucky as far as friends go.’
‘Mmm, you strike me as a bit of a man’s man. Do you have any female friends?’
‘About half of my friends are women.’
‘Were any of these women more than friends at any point?’
‘Oh it happened but it didn’t work out on that level. The friendship prevailed though.’
‘Why didn’t it work out?’
‘Because love works in mysterious ways.’
There’s more to it than that isn’t there?’
‘Yip.’
‘And you’re not going to tell me are you.’
‘Nope.”
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