A place that becomes a thought
A face that becomes a wish
And a dream that binds them
*
Two voices in the ether
One asking you to listen
The other asking you to listen to yourself
*
So many stories
Yet only one truth
In absence
*
Yet present
Through space
And time
This fruit is digital
Counting fingers
Down, in to oblivion
Identity
It’s who I am
It’s what I am
It’s what I have
It’s what belongs to me
It’s what I feel
Not what is real
Unless of course
You see me pleased
See, I don’t care
And I don’t share
And you’re the burden
Inside my lair
So do what I say
And stay out of my way
As I let my chaos reign
’cause
It all makes sense to me
’cause
I want you
To do what I want
I want you
To beg
To grovel
And shake
’cause
I want you
Naked and screaming
I want you
In anguish
And ready to hate
For it is my cause
Caws
Caws
Caws
…
*
A time to remember
Came to an end
As a stream of noise
Became a torrent
Constant frequencies
Moronic undertones
Outraged overlords
Taking mediocrity
And turning it insane
**
Be the mirror
Force them to reflect
On the mindless whores
That they’ve become
Publicize
Don’t demonize
And the truth
Will change
Their game
***
See this world
For what it is
And save what can be saved
From the fashioning of life
Dictating thought
With forced agenda
Killing acts
To Make the numbers
And feigning passion
To kill the flame
A trip through an electric space. Looking for what touches without physicality. Like a dream for open eyes and heavy hearts.
“How do you define an ever evolving mind? How can you pin point something that by its very nature shifts, dodges and strikes at the most unexpected moment?
‘Would you say that there is a pattern to your life?
‘I smoke, I drink and go for a piss when I wake up.’
‘When do you wake up?’
‘Depends on when I fell asleep. You know, you should have been a dentist as you seem to like pulling teeth.’
‘Funny. Okay. Do you have regular sleep patterns?’
‘I sleep six hours on average but I don’t go to bed and get up at set times.’
‘Do you have trouble getting to sleep?’
‘Only when I run out of sheep to count.’
‘I’ll take that as a yes.’
‘You do that.’
‘You really have your moments don’t you!’
‘Oh look, a butterfly. Seriously though: give me something to chew on and you’ll get straight answers.’
‘Okay then. Let us talk some more about your rapport with the opposite sex.’
‘I’m beginning to think that my sex life is a bit of an obsession for you. Tell me: do you masturbate while going back over our conversations?’
‘I try not to.’
‘Ha! That’s the spirit. Alright then, what garden path do you want to go down this time?’
‘You made it clear to me that you’ve been hurt by women in one way or another throughout your life yet you seem to have retained a great affection for them. Why is that?’
‘For every one that hurt me there was another who tended the wound no matter how deep it was. It can be too easy to focus on the pain and overlook those who mean you well and I did lash out at those trying to help at times. However, they ignored my words and focused on the wound and I love them for that.’
‘So you managed to let go of the pain.’
‘With assistance, yeah.’
‘Do you think you could have done it alone?’
‘I could have but it would of taken a lot longer. Even with helping hands it took years in a couple of cases so, alone, I’d probably still be dragging that pain around with me.’
‘Could you maybe tell me about one of those cases?’
‘No, it’s all water under the bridge now but I will tell you about a lass I met at a nightclub many years ago as an example of someone who couldn’t let go.’
‘Okay.’
‘I was out on the piss with the lads as us gentlemen like to put it when this lass came up to me and started talking. I explained to her that we were having a boys night out and that even if it wasn’t the case that I was in no way looking for a girlfriend. She stuck around anyway so I bluntly told her that at best she’d be a fuck and forget, thinking that might put her off but it didn’t. After about an hour of this I gave her my number and told her to call me and we could talk over coffee. That did the trick and I got to finish the evening with the lads.’
‘I gather she called?’
‘Oh she called alright, just not for coffee. She gave me some speech about a friend of hers who had had her drink spiked and that she was at her place freaking out. She asked me if I could come over and help out as her friend started panicking as soon as she got close to her. It all sounded a bit off to me but I thought I’d better go and check out the situation. I went round to her place and right enough there was this other girl sitting on the bedroom floor and looking completely out of it. I approached her slowly, crouched down and asked her name and what had happened. She was wild eyed and shaking as she told me that some girl drugged her and tried to take her home. I turned to look at her friend who proclaimed that it wasn’t her. I believed her as the drugged girl confirmed it and added that she just didn’t want another woman near her because of what had happened. Anyway, it took a while but I got the girl to calm down, drink some water then I put her to bed. I waited for her to fall asleep then went through to the kitchen to talk with the girl who had called me in the first place.’
‘How did that conversation go?’
‘Well, as if the evening hadn’t been strange enough, when I entered the kitchen there was another guy there. The girl explained that she had called him just in case I hadn’t come over and that once I had arrived she had forgotten to let him know. He added that he was going to come over anyway then looked at her and said: ‘You’d better tell him or I will!’
Now when he said that I assumed it had something to do with the girl in the bedroom but no it was a whole different story. What he was getting at was that the girl who called me had been so set on getting close to me that night at the club because I looked like her ex boyfriend. In short she was having trouble getting over the ending of the relationship and wanted to keep it going by finding a doppelganger.’
‘What happened next?’
‘I went home and got some sleep.”
There is something in the way you move
That reflects my mind
The projection of who I was
Where I’ve been
Who I am
And what I’ve seen
I see again
Through you
She moves in ways that captivate
My imagination
Roaming a cerebral wilderness
Beyond my recollections
She opens up my thoughts
Her hands suggest direction
Her lips a cheeky smile
Her eyes shine with affection
There’s something of a mystery
To what motivates her mind
Is she running to or from something
Or are we lost in time
A blood moon turned white before it was time to be gone. Maybe I should of paid heed to the sign. Maybe I misinterpreted the situation but either way I ended up going from limbo to limbo. Life, death, the cycle revolves like a young couple discovering romance for the first time until the lessons learned lead to another cycle. A variation on a theme, from joy to heartbreak and yet another lesson learned. Well I tried and failed then tried again and failed again and yet I can’t help but feel. Feel that maybe one day I’ll find that part of me I’ve spent my life looking for.
Walk with me
Walk to the edge
Face the fate
That we may face
In ever changing times
Where one man’s crime
May be
Another’s salvation
A drop of blood
In an ocean of tears
Diluting the sorrows
Of life
Under the knife
May just
Cut away the origin
Of bitter sweet existence
So walk with me
Until the edge
Of what once was
Resistance
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